Tag: life

30 Days Of Jaye – Day 25: The Road To Perdition

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The most contagious lie

on the Internet is

that Black women

are undesirable —

unwanted,

not beautiful,

not trustworthy—

needing to be in our more natural state.

The road to perdition

is always paved

with eyelashes

and weave,

and HR approved hair colors.

It is the steady robbery

of person and self

And the marriage therein

that tells you that

the world can only end

where you begin!

the road to perdition

Is paved with stilettos

that echo hallways

we are not supposed

to be in,

the shunning of

our own selves

from our own selves

into places meant

to be margin.

Our place supposed to be uncomfortable.

Pleasure and purity

Never being ours—

walking these narrow roads

with a few gates, and

even fewer allies, and

no light, and

we were supposed

to just endure that

with smiles in our faces

because Black girls

are made for hard times.

And the only way

to find redemption

among this back door

To Hell’s Jericho Road

is to abandon all hope

of all ye who enter here [the World]

as Dante said,

but at the same time l—

who put us here?

it was Oracle Malcolm,

who told us

who looked like him,

“Who told you to hate yourself?”

and if a Black woman

does not hate herself,

Then,

how can she truly be Black?

But if Blackness holds

everything and

everything is inside Blackness

that means we hold

all power in our very hands!

You see perdition

Was never ours,

It’s was never

ours to be sent,

This road we were

Given is not ours to cement!

It for the cause of those

Who do not know who

They are and will never accept

Who we are

That we continue to forfeit

Our own selves for their selves!

But understand

The key to our CELL,

is never FOR SALE.

The road to Perdition

They say

Is paved with

good intentions.

But at the same time

Heaven is within us

so perdition is never made

for us, and is a holding spot

for those who don’t know

who they are …

besides the darkest trick the devil ever played was to to make the world believe he doesn’t exist, but

Black

women

always

have.

-JBHarris, 4.26.2024

30 Days Of Jaye – Day 24: The Cry of The Free Woman

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Say Sis-

Did they pick you yet?

Have you now found the courage

To keep trying to out do

Me with whose pussy is better contest?

Have they picked you yet?

You’ve dyed your hair

Gotten the contacts

Gave up contracts

Time

Body and

The most excellent delicate

Whimsical kiss

That Ntozake Shange

Spoke about.

Have they picked you yet?

From all the fighting

On the Internet

From placing your heart

As a useless bet

On countless crap tables

From a man who

Said he would love you forever?

Sis, did he pick you yet?

Did he pick you yet

After all the money you put on his books —

After all the dirty looks —

And from all the right hooks—

Did he pick you yet?

Will your suffering

Finally be enough

To make him come home

Or perhaps—

Raise him from the dead?

Have your eyes

Become so affixed

To the front that

You can’t see what’s

In the back of your head?

Have they picked you yet?

Have they picked you yet

Internet forum

From boardroom

To classroom

Most intimate bedroom talk

To playground,

Have they picked you yet?

The oracle

Nikki Giovanni said

If you find a woman not

full of herself, she’ll be starving,

And clearly you have

Lost both sight and appetite

Feeding on whatever

Is in reach.

Have they picked you yet?

Are your breasts not big enough

The BBL unpaid

Not light enough

Not sweet enough

Did you not make

Him Cum when he

Called enough?

Have they picked you yet?

Us on this side of freedom

Crossing the portion

Of Jordan cannot be affording

The laziness of stopping

Due to your insistence

That you are right

When rail to make

Sure all is not lost.

We will no longer pay this cost!

We are tired of

Having to fight the

World and you too

When you look like me

And I look like me

And I am you.

You see me as problem

To solve,

As the one to save

When truth is

When you try

To bind me to you —

All I have is rage!

All I’m trying to do is live my own life.

It sent to my own self.

With all of myself.

Bringing all of

my selves with me!

The healed versions carrying the wounded versions because my own self is such a treasure.

Did he pick you yet?

Otherwise we will be

In this contest

You blocking the door

Never wanting more

And I refuse to

Stay here with

You forever and a day!

Queens don’t cast

Their crowns to

Neither fools

Nor swine…

So I’ll ask again

Before you run

Out of time —

Have they picked you yet?

-JBHarris, 4.22.2024

30 Days Of Jaye – Day 23: Suvivorship

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Fun fact: the name Zachary is from Zachariah which means the Lord remembers.

Note: This is my first husband’s real first name and I never took his. He is remarried to another woman, has children with her, and makes no attempt to have a relationship with his children. As you read this work, with this backstory, it will make more sense.

He left us on

Constructed wings

Of wax to wain

Leaving us to watch

To see

the sea

Welcome him.

There is no love lost

When the man you loved

No longer exists—

If he ever had.

The name

The Lord remembers

Corresponds to

The same Icarus

Who left me with

The daughters

Held in body

And heart.

The same one

Who now has

Made his tribe

Complete with the

Sons be craved

So that his line

And its curses

Might not die

With him.

Tied to you by time

As my ancestors were

The language and land

Foreign because I

Never was supposed

To be here alone.

To rage, rage against the

Dying of the light!

I swallowed the salt water

For my children to breathe.

Pressing –

Swimming –

Towards the Son

With the

These two

Cleaving to me

To make their

Mother a mermaid

to bring them to

Dry land

To make the milk and honey.

My fins are feet

and feet are fins

The traversing between

The world given

And the world that is.

And taught my daughters to swim.

Their father is Icarus.

Their mother is Yemoja.

The death he wanted

Was his own —

And he can watch

from the bottom of the sea.

-JBHarris, 4.2024

30 Days Of Jaye – Day 20: Water Freezes – II

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I’ve noticed two crucial things

between these birthdays

And this education:

DEGREES.

my eighth grade science teacher

told me that water freezes at 32°

so as one who has had 42 birthdays

TWO DEGREES

and is a water sign

It is easy for this heart of mine

to become icy.

to push you away

when you do things

that I know will

ruin my day.

when I see that

you have nothing

on your mind

but time

And choose to

waste mine?

There’s no reason for us to converse.

There’s no reason

for you to be in my universe.

I have almost 50 rotations

around God’s sun

and I have no reason

to waste another one

on someone else’s son

who does not know

what he wants —

or believes that he can keep me

in a frozen position

while he figures out.

Where is hot and heat

and where he can go

Gather more sympathy from.

I refuse to be chilled.

Water freezes

when you neglect it.

when you don’t feed it.

when there is no water

and no oxygen to

keep pace with it.

It will go back to its original state.

Unfazed.

and yet—

What can the poet do

When her heart is frozen

except fight for it to be

Flesh again,

To be won again,

To remember that love

Still is—

And may always be.

Even if not with me.

-JBHarris, 4.19.2024

30 Days Of Jaye – Day 15: If Selina Kyle Told Batman She Loved Him

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In the murky ethos

of darker universes,

Selina Kyle and Bruce Wayne

have children

and a big house

and all the money

that even God could want.

Yet the growl of his voice

Puts the purr in her own

Then she gets his attention

With and in chaotic moments,

stealing things

Which aren’t hers…

Including his affection.

Robbing his sight

And mind of anything

that would be close to normal.

But as one

made from chaos and flame,

just like she is,

as she was…

He chased this elusive cat woman.

This woman

not quite human,

but not quite animal

Speaking, awakening things

in him by which neither

Can duplicate nor compare.

And he knows how to identify prey

but… so does she.

And yet this creature,

being both

woman and cat,

these two a cauldron

of energy by

which they have

always existed.

She finds peace and solace in his kisses.

If she told Batman

that she loved him —

not Bruce Wayne—

she would have

to admit

she loved them

both because

she is still both

And same —

Catwoman and Selina.

Not being one

without the other—

just as he is.

She has to love both.

the tormented

eight-year-old boy

who wants the world

to be right …

And will do so by his hand.

And that world he still claims her.

What marvelous love is this…

I,too, am Selina Kyle.

-JBHarris, 12.1.2023

30 Days Of Jaye – Day 14: Bitches’ Brew

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Note: this piece is inspired by the album of the same name by legendary musician, Miles Davis.

You ain’t got tell me

God is Black

Because Miles’ and

Gabriel’s horn

Got to sound

The same!

That horn

With the fire

On the inside

To the outside

That announce

The arrival of

Heroes into the Earth.

The poet prophets

The prophet poets

Responding to the

Echo of the 3 strand

Divinity inside them to

Tell you want is wrong —

And how to right it.

When she is woman

— and not man

She is bossy

She is agitation

She is loud

She is rude

And to push

The hush into her?

You call HER a BITCH.

(Beat)

I’ll be the bitch

Stay that bitch

The chick

Which notices

Every ounce of

This bullshit!

Who’s business

Sits on her chest!

And adjusts in

A good Fenty DOUBLE D bralet!

Because:

who The fuck is youPlaying wit’?!

The brew be that

Fire that bring

Light, heat and smoke

To step on ashes

And in my ether

The unworthy choke!

The world needed

Saving,

And by one man

It was done

And this time

At this reclamation

The truth still

Gon come

From a Black woman!

(Beat)

So…

I’ll be villain in ya story.

I’ll be the lie you repeat.

Because I didn’t

Break in half

Die,

Or gravel at your feet!

That truth be

Fire all up in

The EYE

that make sure

The greens taste

Just right!

Pulling in all the scraps

The world gave

Believing my Black

And woman

Would give

Me no haven.

Time and fire

Made the brew

So when I show up

All big in room,

Yall don’t know

What to do!

But know this,

I know what I

See,

And see what

I say,

And asking me

To shut up?

(Beat)

Bruh, aint no way.

-JBHarris, 4.2.2024

30 Days Of Jaye – Day 11: Elegy For A Ghost Boy

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In another life.

Tamir Rice

Is 21

he’s out with his boys

having fun

with his whole life

in front of him.

He has a mother who loves him

a father who adores him

and he has a sister

who will do anything

in the world to make sure

that his black

and greatness continue

to marry together,

like yams and macaroni and cheese—

but in the reality

of this present earth,

in this present time,

he is a ghost.

Always 12

Encountering a hell

His people knew all

Too well—

he is remembered for 2 shots

In seven seconds from

The weapon of someone

sworn to protect,

but would only protect

those whose complexion

Matches protection.

He is remembered for a smile

that doesn’t quite

reach his eyes

and a mother whose cries

were dismissed

because her son

was Black.

We who were alive

and remain and

remain to be alive

Remember that birthdays

Don’t just don’t stop in cemeteries.

We know to be wary

of all those who say

they stand on the power

of red white and blue

but at the same time we can’t breathe

Because these cherries they show

We can’t eat,

And wonder why every hood

Everywhere is starving for peace!

They were on our neck

Stay on our neck

and they still was all blue.

Not always has amnesia

Been remedy.

For those not seen

and yet are always around—

in the rustle of trees

in the thunder that

comes up from the ground

in the pace and space

of marching feet

we remember

because the world

would rather forget.

Ghosts still get plates at the table.

-JBHarris, 11.23.23

1947

·

The break of day

Jack sat in

An office that

Would change his

Life and —

I can’t help

But think of the

Hymn that says

The Blood ‘dun signed my name.

A door which would open

For all those

Coming behind

And remembering

Who was in front.

With this signing

With this mountain climbing

This sport that

Puts together ball and bat

Gave us legacy

Of Black and Athlete

To stand up on

Two feet

And there always

Needs to be a

Dodger Blue 42.

-JBHarris

(Written on Jackie Robinson Day, 4.10.2024)

30 Days Of Jaye – Day 9: The Call

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Pray for the Prophet:

because she’ll have

to go anyway—

she’ll have to go

when it it is safer

to stay.

To be brave enough to say

what but no one else will say.

Pray for the Prophet:

because she’ll have

to go anyway —

laying bear life and limb

dredging up love,

speaking of love

that soon will be again

bearing her own sin

for the sake of safety

and the equipping

of those after her.

Pray for Prophet:

she have to go

anyway —

head spinning

from the words

And worlds within it

from the ancestors

Who beckon –

The Christ who reckons –

from the God who has

given her the ability

to go forward

When nothing is

in front of her,

but yet nothing is certain.

Pray for Prophet:

she’ll have to go anyway,

keeping her wits about her

Her heart in broken flux.

Knowing anything

And everything

Commanded my hand

Held close by time

Bearing what must

Be given back

Planting the juniper trees

And catching jars of

Moonlight.

Hands and knees

Bend to pray

Knowing the price

Of the vision

Will be her voice

and obedience —

Even when both shake.

Pray for the Prophet:

for she must go anyway.

-JBHarris, 2.28.24